Playing the guitar...

It's been a while since i played the guitar for performance but this was a great experience! just sharing a pic :D cheers

Concert Night

For the first time in my life I sang a chinese song in public! Wang Lee Hom's "Yi Shou Jian Dan De Ge" - I must say that I was really nevous but the crowd was encouraging and I belted it out well! Yay! Did three songs tonight for the love concert... Oliver James' - The greatest Story Ever Told, Wang Lee Hom's - A simple song and John Mayer's ' Daughters.

I shall blog more about my experience in a while. Gotta go study my Greek!

- nate

crushed...

Not just emotionally - i crushed two of my left toes just now... a stone chair fell on my left foot and crushed two toes. *ouch* - yes.. very painful. Was rushed to the hospital *I just got back - 1am BKK time* and was very relieved to find that all that happened was serious bruising, muscle tears and brokennails - no broken bones or fractures.

A series of not-so-fortunate events? yeah... but something good did happen today - I was involved in the best sabbath worship the school has ever had - apparently. I felt it too - led out in worship today and man was it fantastic! That was uplifting. The rest of the day was a little downhill after that. I can't dwell on the badness of the day I guess... so... overall it was good.

cheers~

Weird morning

So I woke up today at 7:00am in the morning and did the usual. I just checked my blog and discovered that my post from yesterday didn't even make it! How's that to start my day? Well, before I go on with the rest of the post... I'll write about "If Only".

"If Only", starring Jennifer Love Hewitt... I shouldn't have watched that movie - it just made me depressed. It's about this guy who basically, through some premonition finds out that his girlfriend is gonna die the next day. During the first few scenes of the movie, I couldn't really believe my eyes as the storyline unfolded - one so reminiscent of my own life. I couldn't really swallow all that I was watching. I was pretty much gawking through the movie. Oh well... If you guys wanna watch it. It's "If Only".

Alright... back to today. I woke up, did my stuff and went out of my dorm. Walking down the road to the cafeteria and someone comes up to me and goes like, "Hey Nat, are you sick? You don't look too good". That's number 1. Alright... So I go to the cafeteria and someone else comes up to me, we chat a little then I get number 2... "Nat, are you alright? You don't seem to look to good today". I thought I something was really wrong now... I sit down and the girl sitting opposite me looks at me and says, "brother... there's something wrong with your face". That's number 3. I thought it was the end... but it kept coming! Walking up to the church, robert comes up to me and asks if I'm alright... that something's troubling me - number 4. Amazing huh? What is wrong... I have got no idea. Well... number 5 came in class when I entered the class. Someone looked at me and went "Nat... you look like shit". I have totally no idea~ haha... I went to the toilet and checked myself out - still looking like me. My face seems to have the parts that make up a face so nothing's wrong with my face... oh well :S

Guess that has pretty much summed up my morning. I'll be going for a field trip later so watch out for pictures - possibly~ Oh yeah.. my wblogger doesnt seem to work. Not posting stuff up leh.. no idea why. Anyone know how to post blogs from email?

If Only

Its not often that a movie moves me to tears, and its not often that a movie wreaks havoc with my head - one did just last night. "If Only" - Starring Jennifer Love Hewitt... the scenes in the movie reminded me of my life - so reminiscent of everything in my life that midway though the movie tears just started to stream down my face.

You should watch it if you have the chance... the title "If Only" is very fitting - it centers around the lives of a young couple... the girl is really in love with the guy and the guy is totally in love with the girl too - just that his busyness and his way of showing love to the girl is just well... not the way the girl expects it. The movie goes on and the girl dies in a car accident after she tells her guy how much she loves him but cannot see their relationship moving on. The guy goes to bed clutching her diary... and awakes to find that he's reliving the same day again. Everything happens in almost the same way, but yet differently during the day and the guy is totally stressed out... he gets a chance to love her one more time...... the ending is kinda sad... he dies instead of her because he chooses, under different circumstances to get into that cab and protects her when it gets smashed by another car.

Perhaps this little summary wasn't the best... but it's a movie to watch i guess... JLH isnt the hottest girl around... haha but she acts out this role pretty remarkably... i was moved. yeah...

cheers... n

Posting with w.blogger v 4.00!

Just posting... from my desktop! This is so coooooooooooooooooooooooooooooool! okay.. gotta do my homework now! tata!

My Johari window!

http://kevan.org/johari?name=nate-tan - fill it up please! hehehe thnk u!! - nate

The long ride yesterday

Yesterday was filled with - riding. Rode a good distance to the Mittraphap Hospital - the only one within about 85km that has a doctor who does eyes. Riding under the hot, hot sun was really tiring!

So we left school around 10am and reached there at about 10:25 - speeding down the highway. The doc did surgery on his eye and we met up with Randy n Ning for lunch at MK!! Yeah...!!! Best lunch I've had in a long time!!!

Nothing else happened actually... pretty mundane~ that's it... ciaoz!

Capture the flag! - live!

Yeah! Got a new toy today with a bunch of friends here~ We're gearing up for CTF (capture the flag). For those who don't know or aren't sure of what this is, it's a game where two armed teams of 4 to 5 each run around in a specified area and try to protect their own flag and capture the enemy's flag while retaining their own flag. It's the 'live' version of a game called 'counterstrike', better known as "CS".

I feel like a kid again! haha~ So this is my secondary weapon... we'll be shopping tomorrow for rifles and team gear~ All this stuff is really cheap out here in Thailand. This cost me SGD$9.00 flat! - Quite a steal if you asked me!

Well... hehe... does this sound fun? If it does... yeahhhh!! This is of course, an underground thing and not some official thing that the school has going on - the school will never support something like that anyways~

Whole idea's to have fun and living out the game that so many of us play on the computer! More action-packed with sweat, shouting, running and realism added!! yeahh!!!

Good night people! 

long drive tomorrow

tomorrow's gonna be a long day - driving. sending a friend of mine down to the hospital for eye surgery... yeah~ i'll see if i can arrange transport for him... if i can't, i'll take him down and wait for him there. hope he gets well soon..

nites~

does everything "bad" have to happen at once?

Well... to sum it up. This has been pretty much the worst week I've had in a long time. I 'gained freedom' that came with plenty of sadness without expecting it *and im still suffering from the shock*, I've been trying to get sleep which I've been somehow not able to get and this morning, someone let out the air from my tyres, stole an air-cap, tried to remove my sparkplugs (left the plugs out) and basically tried to ruin my day.

So far so good... i've been keeping my cool - what on earth did i do to deserve all this? I mean.. EVERY SINGLE THING... there's NOTHING that I've done that could even incur this kinda wrath against me. I've thought over and over... oh well... life's like that.

There's a saying "Life's a bitch and then you die" - I don't subscribe to that, but sometimes i feel like I want to believe it. That said and done... I'm going back to my work. Have a nice day people~

Flying danger!

I was tearing down the stretch of straight road back from town and something flew into my left leg... yeah... it hurt then and it still hurts. I wonder why these whatever-they-are's fly into vehicles... its crazy! God should give them bigger eyes or better 'scanners', or as evolutionists would say... they should evolve and grow bigger eyes or have an upgrade in their 'senses'. haha

Thats all for tonight. Nites!

Sleeping Time

From experience :) - It's hard to get to sleep when you've something on your mind and it's hard on your friends when you're troubled. Two very very important lessons I've learnt I guess...

I taught lesson yesterday... was like a preaching session for about 1 hour. I'm glad that I managed to pull through it and give a puncy sermonette that was interactive, lively and not filled with the emotional baggage that I'm carrying. I couldn't stay on in church after that though, so I left church after that and went back to my room. Slept all day after that... that was about 10:50am - 4:30pm. Long sleep eh?

Played my guitar last night and cheered myself up a bit. Emotions are so... I don't know what to say about them at the moment and maybe I shouldn't because I'm hanging or perhaps sitting on one side of the see-saw with no one on the other side to balance things out. You tend to feel happier when there's someone on the other side balancing things out :) At the moment, I'm like sitting on it alone and it's more down than up... haha~ Interesting illustration eh? Maybe i've gotta move to the middle a little to balance it out for myself for a while - I remember doing that when I was a kid - standing on the see-saw and walking from one end to the other, kinda baffled that if I walked from one end to the higher end, I'd end up on the 'down' side again... regardless of how hard I tried. If I stayed in the middle - that was when I'd actually be able to be at the highest point of that little up n down plaything! It was most fun however, when there were two people on it - a friend and i! We'd be able to get up n down to the highest peaks and take turns!!! That's like... so fuN!

I think that life has to be balanced out. You can't stand alone on your see-saw forever and even if you do, life is gonna suck because you're never gonna ever go higher than that pivot point on the see-saw. You need friends to be with you so that you'll be able to experience not only the down times... but the up times too... yeah~ Just a thought for the day I guess, as I continue to sulk my way through the day, study greek for my test tomorrow and try to bring a shapely smile to my face (which I've been forcing).

Well, I'm gonna end my post here I think. Ciaoz...

The GREAT Commission... did we all get it wrong?

Matthew 28:19-20 "Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything that I have commanded you"

The highlighted words are the ones that are most commonly preached about. People have often heard sermons and read books about the 'Great Commission" and the three or four steps to it that fulfill the great commission. I'd like to ask you guys to open your eyes, take a step back and don't choke on whatever's in your mouth as you continue to read this~

There's only one command in the great commission. It's not to GO out (to wherever) to evangelize, it's not about BAPTIZING as many people as you can and it's also not about TEACHING everyone to obey the commandments of God.

The greek text has only ONE imperitive, and it happens to be the part about making disciples. In the translation to the english language, it has made basically every verb an imperitive, making the great commission appear to have a few commands when there actually is only one. The word "GO" in the text does not imply going somewhere with a specific interest to evangelize but instead it is saying "wherever you may go", say to the market, to the gas station, on a holiday... make disciples wherever you go.

My translation of the great commission is really short and to the point (in my own words, from the greek text) - Make disciples everywhere and anywhere you may be.

Hope this gives you a new perspective to the great commission~

the big Q in ministry

How do you know if you're called to the ministry? Is there really a call?

Every minister-to-be (well, most) will feel this nagging question hanging from somewhere before he or she enters in to the ministry - some ask this question while they're serving. Is there actually a call? Is there one at all or is it all up there in your head?

Here are some quotes:

"If you are called, you know it. The difficulty is often with just doing what He wants in the way He wants it done. Once you get past the fear of what people will say, of how you will make it (financially and spiritually), and the thousnad other things that will drive you nuts, the rest is pretty easy" - anonymous

"There is no specific call to ministry. Ministry can be done in any job anywhere. Look at the gifts that God has gifted you in and see if your lifetools fit the job description of a pastor. If your gifts fit the role of a pastor then your job is a pastor" - anonymous

Speaking to a few people who are currently ministers in various denominations... apparently all of them have different views on the subject, which has led me to a state of confusion on the 'call' to the ministry.

Each one can be called to 'ministry' or 'full-time ministry', but how do you 'hear/discern' that call? I was once told that if God has called me to be a pastor, no matter how hard I try to run away from that, I'll eventually come back or I'll feel so guilty about it and not be satisfied with whatever I'm doing. EGW (Ellen G. White) in her book Pastoral Ministry says that one should question his calling to the ministry unless he/she feels that any other job, no matter how large the salary is not fulfilling (paraphrased). How will one know that until he has started the job? I'm starting to question my calling and if there really is a call... this is a big issue, because if there really is no call... what am I doing and was the thought, the 'calling' in my head nothing but the result of my mind playing tricks on me?

A few of my classmates have their own views, one of which shares the idea of there not being a specific call to ministry. It's the individual's choice whether to be a pastor or not, it's not like you're chosen specifically to be a pastor. So how does it work out if say, someone feels that his job should be one of a pastor but deep inside he feels otherwise? This is a bugging question.

My professor believes in there being a calling for each person to enter the ministry. The Adventist Church ordains those whom they feel have been 'called' to the ministry. Is it because they feel that individuals have been 'called' by God or are they ordained because they fit into the shape of a pastor, because their personalities and working capabilities fulfill the role of a pastor?

Many individuals serve in their own way, ministering to people in their daily lives - is this not also a 'calling' that they're fulfilling? A question to ponder over...

live piñata

i feel like a freaking live piñata that God is hitting around. SO fun... wait till i split and the candy comes pouring out. Funny how one can feel. The rush of thousands of thoughts just activate emotion after emotion - i've just embarked on a not-so-pleasant journey that might last for a while. i'm thinking of it as the sickest roller-coaster ride of the century that i'm on - and i've got no seatbelt/safety bar and that i'm feeling queasy (not the usual me).

so its 7:45am in the morning. i didn't really get much sleep last night, too much thinking and reflection. however, i've got to teach later at i don't know what time. hell... i'll just go early to church and if it's time, it's time... if not i'll just wait till the time is right.

some guys said that i did a really good job leading worship last night. i couldn't agree more - i feel the epiphany when i get on stage and lead worship. i'm just afraid that i wouldn't be able to do that when i start working... it usually isnt the job of the ****** to do that.

gimme some goddamn strength and a freakin smile later for class... i can't teach with a face like that. i said i hated u... yeah... i'm sorry but i've just realised that i can't live without you. so if i hate you and decide to leave you and not believe in you, i'd probably die like an old fuck. if anyone's wondering why my vocabulary has been *expanding* - online at least, it's because of some things that i've come to personally believe about freedom of expression. you might think that it's a little warped... but you're free to believe anything that you believe in.

Well... that's a wrap for now. I might take out my camera to shoot a bit today~ oh yeah... it rained last night... and my bike got a wash. haha :P

nate

a picture right now would be fantastic i think. i don't think i ever saw it coming - i was probably too blind and oblivious to everything. its probably time to reflect on things that were again. its like deja vu for me :S kinda sux rite? guys... anyone reading this? well... if im taking it bad, i know im not the only one who's in it. cheers God... thanks for making my day - you're fantastic. i'm sorry. i had to say that.

Friday and going

Tonight i'm gonna be leading worship after a full 4 months. Tomorrow I'm teaching SS... wow...... Interesting isn't it? I'm not really prepared... I think I'm lacking vitamin E too cuz my hands are peeeeeeeeeeeeling! The skin on my fingers and palms are peeling :X Yuck.

For those who wanna follow my daily photos, I'm not sure if I'll have any today coz my camera is in my room! haha... yeah~ Gonna be taking part in some photo competition soon and I hope to get a prize! Wish me luck!

Something that I've just gotten into is WEBoggle! It's like... online boggle. Kinda cool... playing with people from all over the world - some of which are insanely good - fantastic i should say... it's scary~

How's my new look on the blog though? Nice design? hmmmm

fuming mad

the yearbook is stressing me out and i'm not denying... sigh~ 10 pages i had to delete because someone in the team didn't do his work properly. i guess that's life huh?

well... :S That's life... in Mission College if you guys don't know where it is... it's in Thailand. I'm listening to Richie Kotzen at the moment... trying to calm my nerves. sigh... *sob* God... do u hate me? okay... im just saying that cuz i feel so down. I know he doesn't so don't go telling people i believe God hates me k? yeah...

-n

A few thousand miles from my brother~

Some people have this funny idea that brothers don't really feel anything for each other. I come from a family where I've got 2 younger brothers and we're tight. The middle bro has left for Australia (he just reached there today) and I feel a little sad already cos he's no longer in Singapore and I won't see him when I get back home in April. Literally a few thousand miles...

It's a 2hr 20min flight from Bangkok to Singapore, less than 1000 miles really... lets add that to the 5hr flight to Perth, Australia... or is it 6? That's about 7 to 8 hours away! Man! Thats by flight too... talk about being far apart! This might of course, give me an excuse to visit Australia; to see my Medicine-Man-In-The-Making brother of mine who's there.

In all sadness, I know that my youngest bro will still be in Singapore for a good 2 years because he's right now serving National Service! haha~ At least I'll see him when I'm home.

Life with family is the best thing that could happen. I can't imagine life without any of them. I love my brothers :)

My pics!

For u guys who love pictures... i post them up regularly http://forums.clubsnap.org/showthread.php?t=173533 <-- there!

Guilty as charged!

Yeap, just as the title says... I'm guilty of not having updated my blog for the past 4 months or more! What started out to be a break from blogging literally took me off blogging! Gosh! Well, it's nice to know that I'm back! So many things have happened since and it'll take quite a while to blog down all that has happened!

Lemme juz say... I got back from Pattaya 2 days back, I'm back to playing soccer *Goalkeeper*, recovering from my lung infection and that I'm doing pretty well! hehehe Yeah~

Valentine's day was just yesterday and I gave my gf a big surprise too! hehehe :D im happy! Well, I'm sad too... my brother (benedict) just left for australia and I won't see him the next time I go home. He's at UWA and is taking Medicine! woohoo~ Dr. Ben! hehe Doctor in the house!!!!

I'll blog again next time round! Cya!!