Quotable quotes and thoughts on differences in gender

I wonder how true the following statements are! heheheh!~ Okay... a word of caution - please take all this in GOOD HUMOUR! :D

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

Moving on...For the men...
Why it's great to be a man
- Motor mechanics tell you the truth
- Your underwear is only $9.90 for a six-pack.
- Chocolate is just another snack.
- People don't stare at your chest when you are talking to them (I like this one)

Why it's great to be a woman
- You can talk to the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.
- Taxis stop for you
- You can scare male bosses with mysterious gynaecological disorders.
- You don't look like a frong in a blender when you dance.

Facts about men and women!
-A female brain is organised for multi-tracking. A woman can use the computer, talk on the phone, listen to a second conversation going on behind her and drink a cup of coffee all at the same time. Men can only concentrate on one thing at a time. They can't make love and answer wuestions on why they haven't taken out the rubbish at the same time.
- Women merely remind the men in their lives to do the things that must be done. If that includes cutting down on beer and fags, it may in fact be life-saving advice.
- Men assert, instruct, or pass on their wisdom. It is always for the woman's benefit. They think it shows they care.
- Women use silence to punish men. But men love silence~
- Men exaggerate facts and data, women exaggerate emotions and feelings.
- Men value accomplishments, women value relationships.

Men's and Women's top turn-ons (found this in a book!) Not sure if this is accurate... but well, for the laughs!

Men
1 - Athletic body shape
2 - Sensual mouth
3 - Full breasts
4 - Long legs
5 - Rounded hips/ small wrists
6 - Hemispherical buttocks
7 - Attractive eyes
8 - Long hair
9 - Small nose
10 - Flat belly
11 - Arched back
12 - Long neck

Women
1 - Athletic body shape
2 - Broad shoulders, chest and muscular arms
3 - Small, tight bum
4 - Full hair
5 - Sensual mouth
6 - Kind eyes
7 - Strong nose and chin
8 - Narrow hips and muscular legs
9 - Flat belly
10 - Large penis
11 - Three-day beard

Some interesting facts compiled about what men look for in women!
[What men look for in a woman - On first sight]
1 - Good looks
2 - Shapely body
3 - Breasts
4 - Bum
[What men look for in a woman - In a long-term partner]
1 - Personality
2 - Good looks
3 - Brains
4 - Humour

[What Women look for in a man]
1 - Personality
2 - Humour
3 - Sensitivity
4 - Brains
5 - Good body
[Women only ever have one list.]

Jokes
A Womans Prayer - Dear Lord, So far today I am doing all right. I have not gossipped, lost my temper, been greedy, grumpy, nasty, selfish or self-indulgent. I have not curesed, whined or eaten any chocolate. However, I am going to get out of bed soon and I may need more help after that.
A Man's Prayer - Dear Lord, Please send me a nympho with huge boobs who owns an off license and a boat.

Moses wandered in the desert for 40 years. He wouldn't ask for directions! A man would rather be burnt at the stake than admit to a woman that he's lost. Men don't get lost, they simply discover alternative destinations!

If three Wise Women had travelled to Bethlehem, they would have asked for directions, arrived in time to deliver the baby and brought practical gifts like nappies, bottles and a breast punp. They would have cleaned the stables, made a casserole and there would have been peace on Earth forevermore.