My heart or my conscience?

*the story IS real and this is what I'm going through right now. I'm airing my feelings. the names have been changed... to protect even those I feel aren't worth protecting.



"...Picture of 7 students crowded in a room looking straight to you as if to say, "we need to have a quality Christian education; but we have no where to live.""

I got a call this morning from the school's board asking me to take some photographs for fund raising for the school. This school is pretty well-off and it is a nice place to live and study at, the problem however (to me), is the administration.

"The school is raising funds for its new dorm and we have a team going to the USA to raise funds...

"we need pictures of... and also for the front, a picture of 7 students crowded in a room looking straig at you...

... and we would like you to take the pictures for us. You will be paid for this job and we would very much like the pictures to be done by this thursday as the brochures have to be printed by this weekend..."

I looked him in the eye and said, "isn't this a little pathetic? to be begging for help - almost?" At most, 3 people stay in one room - fine... it IS hard enough to have 3 people in a room that's built for 2 but has enough space for one. Seven? Now, that's really pushing it to the limits.

He looked me in the eye, almost sincerely and somehow evaded my question.

"We are offering you XXXX baht for just these eight pictures in total..."

The money no doubt is good - for now, I have till thursday to produce the pictures the school wants, but my conscience is eating me alive.

I don't want to give people an impression that the students here are squeezing in 7 in a room like illegal workers who squeeze into tight living quarters because they can't get a good room for themselves. We are not that PATHETIC damn it!

This is fueling my anger... I have to let it out. That picture... thats part of the brochure they plan to print and it's there in writing; the whole plan of deception - to get the money they so need to build another dorm.

Students will welcome the new dorm no doubt, but do they have to do it in such a way? We're supposed to be a Christian Institution mind you!

God... help me.